A Touch of Schizophrenia

2004-01-23T14:52:00.000-05:00

Oh, and thank you to Katie, Lisa, and Jess who have maintained that I am not a slut throughout this mess.

2004-01-23T14:51:00.000-05:00

I've decided to move to LiveJournal permanently. So if you want to continue reading, go to:
http://www.livejournal.com/~audrey1hepburn1

I've been thinking about this for a while and the last couple of days have pushed me over the edge and so I moved. Thank you, Christine from blogger for helping to get my blog back from my exboyfriend, the prick. I appreciate the help and tech support.

2004-01-22T19:28:00.000-05:00

I've taken my blog back! HA!

2004-01-20T10:54:00.000-05:00

I hate bugs. A lot. They're icky and gross. Grr!

2004-01-19T13:53:00.000-05:00

Jess says that she and Lisa think Chris really likes me. HAPPY! :)

2004-01-18T01:27:00.000-05:00

Your Heart is Green

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-17T18:47:00.000-05:00

Oh. I forgot to say. Mark, I did not change your email password. I swear. I might be a bitch but I'm not vicious. So, I don't know what happened. Tell Patty he can stop IMing me. If I knew your password, I'd tell you. What purpose would it serve to change your password other than annoy you? And quite frankly, I don't want to do that.

2004-01-17T18:43:00.000-05:00

So Chris came over last night. We went to Denny's with Lisa, Jess, and Chris's friend, Dustin. After Lisa scared the crap out of Dustin, Chris, Dustin, and I went to play pool. I am the worst pool player in the world. We took Dustin back to his car and Chris came up to my room and we napped and cuddled. He's a good cuddler. He left around 6pm. He wouldn't kiss me until he was leaving, which was kinda strange, but I guess it's better than him wanting to be all over me all the time since we've only been out a couple of times. He's really sweet and extremely gentlemanly. He always holds the door open for me and helps me with my coat. I can tell he was raised to be very good to women, and people in general. He's a system administrator for the Department of Labor in DC, so he's smart. I really like him. I hope he really likes me or else I'm going to be really disappointed. Of course, if he didn't like me, I don't think he would have stayed here as long as he did. So, yeah. Happy Audrey.

2004-01-15T11:16:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been reading Sue Grafton's Q is for Quarry. I like her books. I really like her main character, Kinsey Millhone. She's a private investigator. I'd definitely like to be like her. She's pretty, but doesn't know it. Hates exercising (but runs every day anyway) and loves to eat junk. She's quite the smart girl. She's also a smartass and doesn't let anyone get in her way. Very tough. She has a relationship with another PI named Dietz. Well, sort of relationship. I think of it as the ideal relationship that I'd like to be in. When he's in town, they screw and call each other occasionally, but it's no big thing. They secretly love each other but neither will admit it. If they don't see each other or talk for months, eh, it's cool.

I'm going to need to go to the library. I've read almost all my books.

2004-01-14T20:11:00.000-05:00

So Katie and I have bed bugs. Fabulous. We have to vacate tomorrow so they can fumagate. Loverly. Apparently I'll be staying in another room somewhere on campus for the night. If anyone needs me, call my cell. Except that no one has my cell #. And I rarely turn on my cell. Well, I'll be back eventually.

2004-01-13T20:05:00.000-05:00

We rearranged the room. Much better. Like it a lot more. I didn't think I would, but I do.

Research continues to be boring.

I had a thought while researching this morning (yes, I know a thought, wow). I wondered if Jesus ever woke up in the morning and thought "I don't want to be a prophet anymore. I want to live in a tent and raise goats. It's less stressful." Shut up. I know I'm strange.

I've been thinking about moving to LiveJournal. I don't know. I sorta like blogger, though.

I want to read Daniel Quinn's "The Holy." I don't know why. I liked his other books. I haven't read them in a long time though.

2004-01-12T23:31:00.000-05:00

Mark called me last night. At like 3:30am. I don't understand. I heard the phone ring, but didn't answer. Now he says he doesn't want to talk to me. Whatev.

Only two months til Italy. Mom sent me a tour book of Paris today. That'll be good. I'm going to call Kyle tomorrow, before he gets too busy with Rome-type stuff. I'm really really going to miss him. I miss him already and he hasn't even left!

2004-01-10T17:52:00.000-05:00

I watched Bridget Jones's Diary today. It depressed me. If Renee Zellweger is that pretty and that thin and that intelligent and can't get a date, what hope do I have? She says she weighed 136 pounds. I think I weighed that in 7th grade. To weigh that again, I'd probably have to lose a leg or two.

2004-01-10T12:51:00.000-05:00

Last night, I got a little drunk. More than a little, probably. I totally have no tolerance for alcohol. 2 bottles of bacardi silver and I was gone. Not good. Bad, bad Audrey! I never seem to learn.

2004-01-09T17:40:00.000-05:00

So I kinda met this guy who is really nice except for one minor thing. He's going away. So that sucks. It's very unfortunate. He's really really sweet. I like him. A lot. *sigh* I suppose it is my destiny to be alone forever. Or forever in long distance relationships. Perhaps it would be easier to just become a lesbian. I would, if I didn't like penises (or is it penii?) so much.

I have read more books and watched more movies than I have in a long time this week. Oh, well. I'll live.

2004-01-09T15:30:00.000-05:00

What Classic Movie Are You?

once again stolen from coffdrop :)

2004-01-08T19:42:00.000-05:00

Katie has declared that no one else is allowed to die. Let it be so.

2004-01-08T16:54:00.000-05:00

Woohoo! Coffdrop "nicked" something from me. I'm special.

2004-01-07T18:44:00.000-05:00

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-07T18:40:00.000-05:00

-Motherly- You're the motherly type. You love to
take care of the one you love, and generally
you can be a bit overprotective and possessive,
but you know, that isn't always such a bad
thing. At least you'll be a good mom in the
future.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-07T18:38:00.000-05:00

'Normal' PLEASE VOTE!!!

What Type of Lunatic are You? (With Cool Pics!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-07T18:34:00.000-05:00

You are Form 5, Dragon: The Weaver.

"And The Dragon seperated the virtuous from
the sinful. He tore his eyes from his sockets
and used them to peer into the souls of those
on trial to make a judgement. He knew that
with endless knowledge came endless
responsibility."

Some examples of the Dragon Form are Athena
(Greek), St. Peter (Christian), and Surya
(Indian).
The Dragon is associated with the concept of
intelligence, the number 5, and the element of
wood.
His sign is the crescent moon.

As a member of Form 5, you are an intelligent and
wise individual. You weigh options by looking
at how logical they are and you know that while
there may not always be a right or wrong
choice, there is always a logical one. People
may say you are too indecisive, but it's only
because you want to do what's right. Dragons
are the best friends to have because they're
willing to learn.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-07T16:47:00.000-05:00

So I think I'm almost done my research project for JanTerm. It's day 3. And Mrs. Dr. Smith won't be back until Monday. I guess I'll just take my time until she gets back. Oh, well.

2004-01-07T01:22:00.000-05:00

I definitely need to stop taking quizzes and go to bed. G'night.

2004-01-07T01:20:00.000-05:00

You're goin' down! FOR THEIVING!
Please rate if you liked!

If you're a goth please visit
groups.msn.com/gothicteensoftheworld and join
up cause it rules!

What Would You Go to Jail For? (Many outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-07T01:17:00.000-05:00

regular, plain old sex-- boring to some, yet you
seem to love it. hey, do whatever pleases you!
(and of course your significant other)

What type of SEX do You enjoy?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-07T01:13:00.000-05:00

I have a feeling these quizzes aren't exactly accurate. First, I'm Aphrodite looking for "The One" and now I'm a Pirate with "no time for love." Hmmm...wonder how that works. It must.

2004-01-07T01:12:00.000-05:00

Pirates of the Caribbean!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-07T01:08:00.000-05:00

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-07T01:06:00.000-05:00

You are going to marry Brad Pitt. He is always
friendly to anybody he ever meets and he is
very talented as an actor. He is also very
sincere and friendly. He will respect you until
the day he dies. Congrats!!

Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (10 results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-07T00:50:00.000-05:00

You're a Rivet Head/Computer Geek (includes
gamers). They're all the same Thing. Don't
Pretend Otherwise.

Which subculture do you come from?
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Apparently, I know something about computers...coulda fooled me.

2004-01-07T00:19:00.000-05:00

Aphrodite/Eros

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-06T22:53:00.000-05:00

Hot herbal tea: A spa for the soul.

What kind of tea are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-06T18:59:00.000-05:00

I've decided that if I ever have a baby (and that's a pretty big IF) and it's a girl, I'm naming it Audrey. 'course I gotta get married first or find a boyfriend or have Kyle's baby. Any of the above situations doesn't really sound good at the moment.

2004-01-06T16:51:00.000-05:00

The-One-Who-Shall-Remain-Unnamed's ex imed me last night. I think he feels some connection with me because we both got burned by her. I don't know. It's sorta strange. I never really talked to him when they were dating, so I'm not sure what to talk about with him.

I went to Smith House this morning to show them my bug bites (because there's definitely something living in my bed). I rolled up my shirt sleeve and the nurse asked "Are you sexually active?" to which I replied "I have bug bites." I think Katie's right when she said, "I think they're just gyn rejects." They get wayyy to excited whenever anybody wants birth control or std testing, etc. I'd just like to say, I don't need tested for AIDS nor am I pregnant. I think if I had a baby, I'd know it by now. I wouldn't go to them if I were pregnant or diseased if my life depended on it.

Sometimes I consider waiting until they're closed and telling campus safety that it's an emergency. The EMT is nice. Kinda cute, too.

I always steal quizzes from Coffdrop. Hope he doesn't mind. Even if he did, I probably wouldn't stop. So, Coffdrop, I'm taking your quizzes!

2004-01-03T00:46:00.000-05:00

You are water. You're not really organic; you're
neither acidic nor basic, yet you're an acid
and a base at the same time. You're strong
willed and opinionated, but relaxed and ready
to flow. So while you often seem worthless,
without you, everything would just not work.
People should definitely drink more of you
every day.

Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-03T00:37:00.000-05:00

What Kind of Cookie Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

MMMmmmMMM! My favorite

2004-01-03T00:31:00.000-05:00

Queen Mask
Please rate my quiz for me thanks and I hope you
had fun

What mask should you wear?(new 19 outcomes with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-01-02T23:53:00.000-05:00

So yeah. the 100 crunches/day attempt has failed. Let's pretend we never even made that resolution.

2004-01-01T03:18:00.000-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! I hope everyone got blitzed.

2003-12-31T02:36:00.000-05:00

I really hate people wHo tYpE lIkE tHiS. It's annoying. They should stop. Immediately.

It's new year's eve. Resolutions, anyone?

1. To not lose my mind
2. To not make anymore roommates lose their minds
3. To lose 10 pounds (10 pounds is a reasonable amount)
4. To pass PChem without killing anyone in the process
5. To do 100 crunches a day.

These are reasonable, I think. No "I'm going to be a size 3" because that's just not going to happen and so why bother. 100 crunches isn't bad. we used to do 200 in dance class.

I miss prom dress shopping. The prom itself was never much fun but getting the dress and looking pretty was very much fun. It was kinda wasted on gay dates. Of course, they were probably more picky than straight men would have been. And they were probably dressed nicer.

2003-12-30T23:45:00.000-05:00

I really like how I can post to blogger at home with no problems whatsoever. I don't have to refresh 87 times before it works. I like dial-up. Is that sad?

2003-12-30T23:43:00.000-05:00

So Sarah and James got engaged. I'm rather disappointed. I kind of hope that they don't get married. I don't see them together. I told my dad they were engaged and my dad got in this tizzy about how they were too young to get engaged and college aged kids are too young, blah blah blah. And then when he finished I said "How old was mom when you two got engaged?" His reply was something to the effect of "That's different. We were more mature." Whatev.

2003-12-29T01:16:00.000-05:00

So the Christmas family-a-thon is over. Bethany has gone back to Baltimore, aunts and uncles have gone back to their respective homes, etc. It always amuses me when Bethany comes into town. Now, she and her boyfriend, Shawn, have been living together for over a year, and have been dating for about 7 years. However, whenever Bethany and Shawn stay at our house, they sleep separately. Or at least, they do the first night and then they wait until mom and dad are asleep and go to bethany's room. I also love how Bethany is on "hormones" to control endometriosis (not birth control to prevent pregnancy) in the eyes of my mother.

6 days til research starts.

2003-12-26T15:44:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and got everything on their lists!

I'm still worried about PChem. Dr. W emailed me back and said he never got my formal lab report and he wants to talk to me about my final. I'm positive I put my lab in his inbox before I left, and I asked Tony, who was in the room with me taking an exam when I turned it in. He says he remembers me putting it in the inbox, so I'm not delusional. That's not really a big deal, I guess I'll just make him another copy when I get back. I don't know what to think he wants to talk to me about my final for. If he thinks I cheated, he needs a swift kick up the ass and told that if he wants to be suspicious of his students then he needs to proctor his damn exams and not make them the horrendously long (3 hours at least, per exam, times four exams per semester) ordeals that they are. I haven't slept since Tuesday when I found out about this stuff. He's in Florida, however until January 12, so i can't just drive down there and find out what he wants. So, I get to worry until then about this. I've got a mouth full of ulcers. Not only due to my parents, but due to him. Thank you, Dr. W for absolutely ruining my winter break. You're such a lovely man. EAT ME! I mean, it's not like he couldn't have contacted me BEFORE grades came out. There are only four people in the class.

I'd take him to the dean for all the things he's done to us this semester which are definitely not allowed, but I have to have him for two classes next semester and he already hates me, so that's probably not a good idea. I'm sorry I'm not one of your "special" students who are male, brilliant, and kiss ass. I don't kiss ass. Especially yours. Even if you are young, cute, and have a nice butt. I'm still not kissing it. I'm a girl, I'm smart-enough, and I need your class to graduate. So I'm not a math major. I'm not a physics major. I'm not even going to grad school. So there's absolutely no reason for me to cheat on your exam. All I care about is passing your class so I can get my damn degree and get as far away from McDaniel College and Cumberland, Maryland as humanly possible. Do they need chemists in California? Probably.

My parents had friends over last night. They're from New York. They're hysterical. Mark grew up in Ellerslie and is some kind of picasso with the piano. His wife, Maire, is from Ireland. She's beautiful. She's an opera singer. I absolutely love her accent. I love accents in general, though. British accents are really nice. Probably my favorite. But Irish accents are lovely. I always wished I was Irish. Or Scottish. Scottish accents are nice, as well. I think maybe I just wish I was from anywhere but here.

Only 3 months til Europe!

Only 6 months til I never have to take a class with Dr. Wadlkowski again. Damn professors. I swear to god he's been hanging out with Dr. Nilson too much. She's the prof that turned in 5 people to the Honor and Conduct Board last semester. Her first semester. Professors can bite my ass. I work too damn hard to be accused of cheating.

2003-12-23T00:34:00.000-05:00

SO my grades came today. I got an Incomplete in PChem which is an absolute mystery to me. Ina said she got an incomplete, too and that he wants to talk to her before he gives her her grade. What that means, I don't know. I emailed him tonight. I'm really upset about it. I don't know if that means he thinks we cheated or what. But seriously, not possible, considering we took the exams serparate from one another, and I don't even know when she took her exam. And by the time I actually took the exam, I really didn't care. I was tired, I was stressed, and I wanted to go home. I wanted to get the damn thing done as quickly and painlessly as possible. I had gotten about 3 hours of sleep the entire week, mostly due to the fact that I had 4 exams and the stupid formal lab to do. There are only four people in the class, so cheating would be obvious. I may be stupid, but I'm not brain dead.

I keep forgetting that I changed the name of my blog, so whenever I log into blogger, I'm like 'Where did my blog go?????" and it confuses me. I'm easily confused.

2003-12-20T00:05:00.000-05:00

I came to the conclusion tonight (while soaking in the tub), that I'm going to stop looking for a boyfriend. I mean, seriously. What do I want with a boyfriend? I just got out of a 2-year relationship which made me feel suffocated and so why the hell would I want to jump back into another one? A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. I'm going to stop moping around and thinking "how can I attract a guy?" You know what, if I want to wear my goddamn pjs all fucking day and go out in them, I will. Because you know what? Who cares? I certainly don't. I never have cared what people thought, why am I starting now?

So, no more man-hunting for this girl. No more makeup. No more dressing nice just because I'm going shopping.

I've also decided to stop worrying about whether or not I made the right decision with Mark. I will live, either way. Life will go on. No use torturing him, either. I feel like, if it was meant to be, then something will change and it won't be as hard as it was. I really didn't mean to lead him on, but I suppose I was. So. No more of that.

Tomorrow I will be wrapping presents. I don't like wrapping presents. I'd much rather just dump everything into bags and hand them out. My presents always look like some poor mentally handicapped person had the job of wrapping. I never could get the paper smooth and nice. So, bags it is.

I'd like to see the movie Mona Lisa Smile, so I'm going to ask my very dependable, sexy boy friend if he'd take me to see it tomorrow. I've said it before and I'll say it again, every girl needs a gay best friend. Especially one who is going to go on a tour of Europe with her.

Will someone please get me out of this freaking house? I'm beginning to get cabin fever. I haven't driven since I got home. I'm beginning to feel like a prisoner instead of a daughter.

2003-12-18T23:29:00.000-05:00

I'm depressed. I hate my life. It sucks. Every time I find a roommate, they go nuts. Hopefully this one won't, though. I have no life. I have no boyfriend because I dumped the one boy in the world who appreciated me and adored me and made me laugh. My parents are absolutely driving me crazy. I was supposed to babysit for my aunt and uncle who live in Chambersburg tomorrow. This resulted in a lecture that lasted several hours about how I need to be careful driving and do I have directions? What are these directions? Is my cell phone charged? Do I have their number? Mom and dad's number? AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I feel like I'm 5 years old every time I enter this house. I know they're trying to be helpful, but for god's sake, I'm 20 years old.

2003-12-16T23:35:00.000-05:00

I hurt everywhere. I feel like i got hit by a truck. My right foot is all bruised and swollen. Pleasant, for a Christmas vacation. Christmas is right around the corner. I have no presents for my sister or Kyle. Hopefully, I will find something soon. I have ideas for Kyle, none for Bethany.

Sono stanko.

I have nothing interesting to say tonight, so. Ciao!

2003-12-16T11:04:00.000-05:00

Last night my mom, dad, and I went roller skating. Yes, roller skating. My mom's work was having a party for the foster kids. It was fun. I think I was the oldest young person there. And the fastest roller skater. Most of the kids were too young to know how and the parents were too old to get on the rink. I spent some time picking up fallen children. It was great. I haven't been skating since I was in elementary school. I did well for not having skated in about ten years. Until, yep, you guessed it, I fell. I wasn't even skating. I was standing, talking to my mom's friend. I fell down and tried to stop myself and ended up bending myself backwards in the process. I cracked my back and bent my foot the wrong way. I'm okay. It only hurts when I move. Or breathe. And I really don't need to do either of those things. I've been shuffling about the house all morning. My back hurts less when I take teeny steps. All I can say is, it better get better before I go to Italy!!!

2003-12-15T23:34:00.000-05:00

Mom and I put up the Christmas tree today. Dad usually does this, but for some reason, he decided he didn't want to put up a tree at all this year. I can't figure this out. Neither can mom. Dad's usually all decked out for christmas by the time i get home for Thanksgiving. I don't know.

So I thought mom was going to ask me about Mark last night and I was getting ready to tell her everything I've been holding in for the past 7 months, but then she didn't, so I continue to hold it in. I really wanted to say something to this effect:

It's really none of your business, mom, especially since you don't care about him or about my happiness. All you care about is that your little daughter has grown up and is an adult and you can't curl my hair and hold my hand to cross the street anymore, god forbid that I have a relationship and am happy. I also have no intention of ever introducing another of my boyfriends to you again. Maybe, if you're lucky, and in ten years (when Katie says I have to get married) you'll meet my guy at the wedding. And then maybe I'll remember how you treated Mark and never let you meet him. So, go on pretending that Mark doesn't exist and don't ever bring it up again.

But she didn't ask, and then I realized that my mother won't ever ask about Mark. My parents are entirely too selfish and live in their own worlds where my sister and her boyfriend sleep in separate boyfriends at their apartment and she's on hormones, not birth control. That must be a happy place. I wish I could live there.

I am very tired of my parents, already. Dad is incredibly unpleasant whenever it's the Christmas season. I always forget this. Every single year he makes me miserable. I think he gets cranky being indoors all the time. Although, I have to say, he has calmed down since he had his heart attack. Before the heart attack...yeah, let's just not go there.

2003-12-13T13:36:00.000-05:00

So, yeah. My aunt nancy is awesome. I'm going to be spending spring break in europe. Oh, yeah. I arrive in Germany at 1am and then fly into Rome around 3, where Kyle will be get his fine ass outta bed and come get me. Is Europe ready for this duo? Probably not. We're going to spend a few days in Paris, go to the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, etc, and then off to Germany! Who knows, maybe I'll even have time to meet a hot Italian guy who speaks no English whatsoever. And then I'll find one for Kyle. I'm excited about using the two lines of Italian that I know, which are "Sono stanko!" (I'm tired) and "Dove le bano?" (Where's the bathroom?). The second one I learned from Ina, so who knows if that's actually correct.

Kyle has apparently been hiding this little secret from me for over a month. I didn't believe my parents when they told me. I was like "No way. You guys are liars." I didn't in a million years think my parents would EVER let me go to Europe, especially unsupervised. Of course, it's with Kyle and Mom and Dad want me to marry Kyle, so that he can be their son.

My sister called me when she found out and was like "So. I got your Christmas present. It's a ticket to Italy! I hope you don't already have one." Kyle is spending the semester in Italy. I think I'm not coming back from Spring Break. I might just live in Italy. With my two phrases. Go up to random strangers and yell "SONO STANKO!" I would enjoy this. Try yelling "SONO STANKO!" It's much fun. It always makes me feel better.

Finals are FINALLY over and my stupid fucking formal lab got turned in at over 20 pages. And, I'm home. Most importantly. Monday I'm going to adventure out, go to the dentist, work on getting my passport, and maybe even visit Ms. Fuller.

It's good to be home.

2003-12-10T09:27:00.000-05:00

Mark sent me a dozen roses. I feel like a horrible, horrible nasty bitch. He's so good to me and I treated him like crap. The roses are beautiful.

I'm should be studying for Pchem so I can take the damn exam, but what am I doing? Blogging. You know why? Because Katie has been a bad influence on me. Procrastinator!

2003-12-09T11:03:00.000-05:00

Guys just love...how intellectual you are!

What Do Guys Love About You? (with pics :3)
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-12-08T20:55:00.000-05:00

Inductions went well. My parents and I sat with Mrs. Dr. Smith. When Mrs. Dr. Smith asked my parents if they had any scientific background, or if my sister did, they said no, I was probably a freak of nature. Thanks, mom and dad. Love you too. Ah, parents.

I've taken two finals and i have two left. And a formal lab. I've got four days. Plenty of time, right?

Ina made the executive decision yesterday that I am going to grad school. Thank you, Ina, for that bit of insight into my life. She was like, "Well, you're going to grad school. I'll let you know where as soon as I'm accepted."

Katie told me I had to update. So I have. Happy, Katie?

2003-12-05T08:43:00.000-05:00

My parents are coming down today. It's snowing. There's at least three inches right now. I like my parents. They do stupid things, though. Like, my mother thinks that I weigh about 300 pounds. Whenever we go shopping, she'll pick up clothes in sizes that are huge. I'll pick up a large shirt and she'll say "Are you sure that's big enough?" She bought me these shirts from Wal-Mart, which would have been cute shirts, had they not be huge on me. Oh, well. I'm wearing them anyway. Mom, please. I do not wear an XXL. On a fat day, I wear an L. Thank you.

So, gamma sigma epsilon inductions are today. I'm not really sure how they're going to go. Which is curious, since I'm an exec and am helping to run the thing. Oh, well. SOmeone will tell me what to do at some point.

Wind's picking up. The snow is now falling horizontally.

Katie, I updated. I know it's a lame one, but deal. This will have to last you until after exams or until after I've finished writing my formal lab.

2003-11-28T19:39:00.001-05:00

Oh, yeah! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

2003-11-28T19:39:00.000-05:00

Which brand of consumer are you?

Radical

You would rather die than be forced to wear labels. An activist who genuinely despises consumer society, you will never be seen in supermarkets: you buy your food from local shops or grow your own. You believe in alternative therapies, self-healing, getting back to basics. Despite the cottage industry image, you are technically sophisticated, creating your own power sources (windmills for electricity) and organising protests via the net. This season, and every season, you are wearing overalls. Or clothing made from hemp.

2003-11-26T22:26:00.000-05:00

So Laura's a bit peeved that I found out about her online journal. Helpful hint: if you don't want people to read it, don't post it on the internet. But quite honestly, I don't give a shit if she's mad.

Bit lonely at the moment. That tends to happen when I'm back at home. C-land isn't exactly the center of socialization. I mean, the C-land idea of a date is taking your girlfriend to the mall, which is now half it's original size (making room for the Super Wal-Mart, ya know) and it wasn't that big to begin with.

Mark says he's "not allowed to talk to me." Whatev. Enjoy your life, my dear. I've got places to go and people to meet. If you don't want to talk to me, it's your loss, not mine.

I bought clothes yesterday. Lots of clothes. I bought these really cute dress shoes that are so 1940. I heart the 40's. Fashion in the 40's was definitely the best. It doesn't get any better than that.

2003-11-22T14:23:00.000-05:00

I've often thought that I was born in the wrong decade. I would have loved to have been a bra burning feminist in the 70's. I always asked my mother if she was. Then I remember that my mom was a nerd. I wonder why my mother raised my sister and I to be such feminists. She says she tried to make us as socialist as possible. I think it worked.

Currently, I'm working on my Islam homework so I don't have to do it over Thanksgiving break. I put Dirty Dancing on in the background to drown out the sports coming through the walls. I can tolerate pretty much anything except sports. They bore me. Tremendously.

My favorite part of Dirty Dancing is the part where Penny and Johnny are doing their mambo thing at the beginning. I really want a dress like Penny's. Flowy and backless. When she throws her leg up on Johnny's shoulder, throws herself back, and Johnny drags her across the floor I always think "Yeah, I want a man to dance with me like that. I could do that. I just need the right partner." I'll keep telling myself that. When I throw my back out, he'll be dragging me across the stage because I can't get up, and I won't get up to spin across the floor.

I also like when Baby dumps the pitcher of water down Robby's pants. It amuses me. I could see myself doing that.

2003-11-20T19:36:00.000-05:00

Oh. I didn't fail my quant test. I got the highest grade in the class. A whopping 76%. A curve? Of course not.

2003-11-20T19:35:00.000-05:00

I feel pretty shitty at the moment. The only reason to get up tomorrow is that it's Friday, and I get to go home on Tuesday. I'm tired of school. I'm tired of spending every waking moment in lab or working on a lab or preparing for a lab. I'm tired of hearing about everyone's graduating early. The only people I'll miss are Katie and Lisa. Everyone else, shut up. Yes, you're graduating early. Aren't you wonderful. Care to share a few of my 70 hour major? No? How about a few of the labs that don't count toward the 70 hours? Still a no? Damn.

I'd really like to go to bed, but I need to go over my presentation for tomorrow one more time. It's only 5 minutes, but I don't care. I'm tired. I don't feel good. I have to meet Stacy and Sarah in lab at 9. I'm not going to stay long. Just long enough to get started on the formal lab. That's enough. I'll finish it over Thanksgiving.

Still have to work on my Islam paper. Damn professors shouldn't be allowed to change long-term assignments two weeks before it's due. Nor should they try to hold a night class after the college is closed for Thanksgiving break.

I hate writing anything in here now that I know James and Laura keep tabs on it. Like, seriously, what do you care? How does my life in any way affect yours? Let me answer that for you. It doesn't. Go away.

2003-11-17T10:40:00.000-05:00

I have four words of advice for James and Laura "Shut the fuck up." Since neither of you are a part of my life anymore, I would apprecitae it if you would keep your mouths closed about the goings-on of my life. It's none of your business. And for your information, Laura, I went out with you and James more than any person could know. We always went out to dinner, to the movies, etc together. I have gone out with becki and mike twice. On both occasions, it was not just becki, mike, and I. The first time, Katie, Lisa, Mike, Becki, and Becki's family was there. We did halloween stuff at Becki's house. The second time was Saturday night with Mike, Becki, and Becki's family. I'm sorry that I have friends. I guess I'm supposed to just sit around and mourn for losing the two of you. But that was your choice. You are a hypocrit. You get all pissed off at me because you thought I was talking about you behind your back, but what do you do on your online journal? Open mouth, insert foot.

I seriously couldn't care less about the two of you. Please, get out of my life and stop talking about me. I will find out. Because, unlike you, I have more friends than just my boyfriend.

2003-11-15T18:30:00.000-05:00

I still think that all the people that hate me should get together and form a support group. They could bring in speakers and start each meeting with something like "My name is Bob and I've hated Audrey since August 1984." I would be amused.

2003-11-15T18:07:00.000-05:00

SO, after a rather rough week, it's Saturday night. I'm going out with Becki and Mike later to see Elf. It'll be a fun time had by all.

I'd like to say, I love my boyfriend. He's awesome. Even though I cried a lot this week, he always made me feel better. No more crying. I promise. At least for a while. I love Mark!

I'm pretty sure I failed my Quant test. And, my PChem test. But you know what? I don't care. It's the end of the semester. I've come to the conclusion that if I get a B, does it matter? No. It doesn't. Does it matter if I get a C? Not really. As long as those scholarships stay in place, I really don't give a damn. Kick me out of Honors? That's less classes about crap I don't care about. I could just take three classes next semester if that were the case.

Well. Anyway. I should go. Hope you enjoyed the read.

2003-11-13T15:07:00.000-05:00

Yeah, my day definitely just got worse. Not only did I fail my quant test, but just after I finished my lab, Dr. Herlocker told Jen that she wasn't titrating to the right point. We all turned around and looked at him. He then proceeded to tell us that our solution should be blue at the endpoint, not purple, like he told us last week. So that means that I have to redo the experiment I did today and the experiment I did last week. That puts me two weeks behind, plus I have another lab next week and a lab the week of Thanksgiving to worry about. I was pissed. I'm still pissed. I just wasted 8 hours of my life that I will never get back because he fucked up. He heven left the solution from his demo out on the bench so that we could compare our flasks to his. Of course, by this week it's turned blue because of the reaction with acid in the air. Screw you! I hate my life. Someone shoot me and put me out of my misery.

2003-11-12T12:16:00.000-05:00

I'm having an incredibly wretched day. I have a quant test tomorrow and a PChem test on Friday, neither of which I've really studied for yet. I also have a PChem lab due on Friday which isn't anywhere near completion. These are bad enough. But then, today, my PChem prof asked us to do our presentations that were supposed to be the last week of class next week instead. We all said no, until he said that if we did that, he wouldn't make us do a lab report the last week of class. So, we agreed. Except now I have to find a journal article about Physical Chemistry, make a power point presentation complete with graphs and figures from the journal, which means I have to find a scanner somewhere on campus. I HATE PCHEM!

So basically, my life sucks. I'm going to go study now.

I'm going to live in a tent and raise goats.

2003-11-06T10:59:00.000-05:00

I feel like my head is going to explode. I'm stressed. My parents are coming. None of these things are good. I can't seem to make my parents understand that the weekend before my PChem test and my quant test (which are on the same day), I don't want to spend the entire weekend gallavanting around Baltimore. I've been to Baltimore. I've seen Edgar Allen Poe's grave, house, used-to-be grave, church. I've been to the Walter's Museum of Art. I've been to the National Aquarium, what I really want to do is study. But they don't get it.

Dr. Herlocker was rather unpleasant today. On Tuesday we asked if we could turn in our problem sets late and he said "Sure, no problem. Just get them in before the test." Today before class started he said "I want your problem sets before you leave." I don't get it. Either they're due, or they're not. Jen and I were the only ones who were finished, and even we weren't totally satisfied with our answers, yet.

I have to clean my room before my parents and my Aunt Nancy get here. Mom will have a cow if she sees the state my room is in. I dusted yesterday. Today I really need to clean my bathroom and vacuum.

I hope I get to see Kyle this weekend. It's the only way it'll make up for having to spend 3 days with my parents. I haven't spent that much time with my parents since high school. I probably won't get to talk to Mark unless I sneak off and use my cell phone somewhere.

I really don't want to do my PChem lab. Yesterday he said it wouldn't be due until sometime next week, which is good, since our original Friday deadline was horrible. Maybe we can get him to extend it until after the test.

Dr. Brown wanted to know what I wanted to do with my life. I have no idea. She said something about grad school, but I don't know if I want to do that. I mean, I realize I'd get paid to go to school, but can I really handle more school? My head is about to explode as it is. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. She also said that if I wanted to go straight into industry for a year or two, that would be okay too, but I should attend the seminars on Fridays to get a taste of what I want in a grad school. I realized that I could go anywhere I wanted to grad school, since Mom and Dad won't be paying for it and I'll have a car and I won't have to depend on them for transportation. If I wanted to go to grad school in Hawaii, I could. Of course, I don't like sun or the beach, so I'm thinking somewhere more northern would be better. Hell. I don't know.

I need more sleep.

2003-11-03T12:30:00.000-05:00

I had a fabulous weekend with lots of fun. Becki and Mike gave me Cranium Cosmo, which seems to be a lot of fun. I love it. It's so cool. My sister made me a skirt, which is very cool.

I'm in the mood to go shoe shopping, which is strange, since I hate shopping, especially shoe shopping. It frustrates me to no end. Oh, well. I'm sure the urge will pass.

Today I presented my poster in Women in Science. It was a cool poster. I'm very proud of it. We're supposed to grade each others posters. I'm not thrilled about that, but whatever. I don't care.

Glar had pumpkin pie today. For some reason, I have difficulty spelling the word "pumpkin." It looks funny. And since i have a tendency to say "Punkin'" instead. I like pumpkin pie. It makes me think of Christmas. And Christmas means...NO MORE CLASSES!!!

Only four more weeks of class.

2003-10-31T12:09:00.000-05:00

So I was a little depressed yesterday, but I'm better now. I talked to Kyle last night and he made me feel better. At least I can be old, fat, stupid, and lonely with him if everything else fails. My boyfriend will leave me because I'm fat and ugly. I won't be able to go to grad school or get a job because i'm stupid. And eventually, I'm not going to be 20 anymore. But anyway. Today's my birthday, I'm going to eat cake with Becki, Katie, Lisa, and Ryan and get fatter.

I maintain that it isn't a good thing when the student health center calls you for the specific purpose of reminding you that you're fat and have you thought anymore about a diet? How about seeing a nutritionist? Screw you, Smith House! I'm eating cake. Did you hear me? CAKE! CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH ICING! AND LOTS AND LOTS OF CALORIES!!!! So there.

I love Halloween, don't you? Candy is good. So are birthdays. The two combined...wow. I just don't even know how to describe it.

2003-10-31T07:52:00.000-05:00

It's my birthday!!!! I'm 20. :)

2003-10-25T10:22:00.000-04:00

The Halloween party is tonight. I'm excited. I even shaved my legs. I hate shaving my legs. It's the most tedious task a woman ever has to do. I haven't shaved in well...a long time. But, since my dress has a slit up the back, I figured it would be a good idea to shave. No one wants to see a hairy-legged Audrey. My mom often yells at me for not shaving. She says things like "What are you going to do with that? Braid it?"

On the other hand, I think guys should always shave. Ew to facial hair!

I don't know. I'm bored. I'm waiting for a file to transfer from my research this summer. Is it sad that it's almost the end of October and I'm not done?

2003-10-21T13:25:00.000-04:00

I'm talking to one of the guys from my Quant class online right now. He's amusing. Always seems to have girl issues. The issue being that he has too many. I'm always amused. One week he asked us (Jen and I) what we thought of dating an older guy. The next week he asked us about daying a younger guy! We were like "wait a cotton-picking minute..." But he's nice. So that's good. The other guy in the class is quite odd. He's nice. So nice that he's too nice. Fake nice or something. I don't like it. It weirds me out to be around him for too long. He makes me uncomfortable. I don't like to be left alone with him. I'll only work with him on problem sets if other people are there. I don't know why. It's not like he does anything inappropriate, I just feel uncomfortable. They say you should go with your gut with people like that. And for people who I don't get a guy reaction about, well, that's why I carry pepper spray.

I don't really understand why women insist they don't need any self-defense lessons or at the very least, pepper spray. They always say things like "Well, I put my keys between my fingers and then if I get attacked, I can hit them." Yeah, right. First of all, I don't want the person to get close enough to be able to use my fist. Second, they'd probably just wrench the keys out of my wimply little wrist. Third, keys arent really a detterent. I don't know. I just think a girl should be able to defend herself.

I miss my boyfriend.

2003-10-20T11:55:00.000-04:00

Today feels like one of those days where I should've stayed in bed. It was so warm and comfy in there that I really contemplated skipping Women in Science this morning. But, being who I am, I can't bring myself to skip class. I don't know why. It's not like we're being tested on any of the material for the rest of the semester. I'm still not exactly sure what we're doing with all the material they give us. We have to do mini-labs, but we did two in a matter of 15 minutes today, so they aren't terribly hard or involved. The questions we answer could be answered without actually doing the lab.

I finished Harry Potter yesterday. It was good. I started it last Monday of Fall Break. The ghost tour on Saturday night was really good. I had my doubts because of past experiences in Gettysburg, where my parents used to drag my sister and I as children. We visited all the civil war battle fields. After a while of standing around and reading plaques and looking at grass, things just aren't all that interesting to an 8 year old. I guess whenever I hear "Gettysburg" or "Antietam" I instantly do an internal groan. I remember my parents dragging us in the middle of July to Harper's Ferry. It must've been the hottest day of the summer. My mother slathered sunblock all over me and I still got sunburned. My sister and I ended up walking around in our underpants. The bugs were eating us. *shudder* I hated it. It was so boring. My dad would say things like "ANd this is the exactly place he stood....Look, can you see? That's what he saw too." While I'm thinking "Who? Why? Should I care? I'm eight. I was promised ice cream and all I see is grass and rocks and a couple of headstones." And this is why I will never take my children on historical vacations.

2003-10-18T15:14:00.000-04:00

I turned in my PChem test and standardized a solution this morning. I think that was rather productive. Well, I guess it wasn't this morning. More like, this afternoon. Whenever it was, I did it. And now I don't feel like doing anything. But I need to. Sleepy time.

2003-10-16T11:50:00.000-04:00

I hate pchem.

2003-10-10T13:25:00.000-04:00

I�m getting a little tired of James and Caroline/Laura�s crap. It�s ridiculous. I don�t even know what the fight was about. I thought we cleared up all the misunderstandings that Thursday night. However, to my surprise, Friday morning, Laura�s got this nasty thing about me talking about her behind her back on her aim profile. This is the point where I got pissed. She was already not talking to me. If she wanted something else said, she could have said it Thursday instead of waiting til Friday to write something nasty for everyone to see. I did not say anything bad about Laura behind her back. Why would I? The only thing Becki and I were talking about was her drawing that she did and how strange it is. Because it IS strange. And then we were talking about the guy in the bathroom and how long he was peeing. Yes, aren�t we vicious people?

I did not have my boyfriend call James. Again, why would I? I don�t even know what we�re fighting about! I tried to keep James out of it in the first place since the fight occurred between Laura and I and in no way involved James. This is why I repeatedly told him to �fuck off.� It was none of his business. I understand that he and Laura are dating and so whatever problems one has, the other also has. But you don�t send your boyfriend to fight your battles. I did not have my boyfriend call James. My boyfriend spent the evening of the apparent phone calls at work and was at school during the day. I do not even think Laura�s a bad person. I think she�s fucked up and needs severe therapy since she would do this to a friend, but then again, so does James. So maybe James fucked her up. I�m really pissed at James, yes. But only because he should have kept his nose out of it in the first place.

James and Laura have been pissed at me since summer. I didn�t go out to dinner with them. The first time we planned to, something came up. One of my friends needed someone to talk to, and so I told them what happened and we�d do it another time. The day I was planning to move out, James and Laura plan this dinner with another couple. Yes, won�t that just be soooo much fun for me. To get to watch TWO couples oooo and ahhh over each other and then drive three hours home. Sounds like a fantastic evening planned there.

And this is why James and Laura are pissed at me and I�m pissed at them. So, if they have any more nasty things to say about me, they may say them to my face. Otherwise, they should just keep their nasty little thoughts to themselves and stop posting them on their online journals. Grow up, both of you.

2003-10-07T11:01:00.000-04:00

So I got a C on my PChem test. That's okay with me because I got an A on my quant test. I seriously hate PChem. It's so depressing. It doesn't matter how hard I work in there, I'm going to end up with a C.

Sleep is good. Only four days until fall break. Oh, glorious sleep. Comfy bed. Real food. Clean clothes. Oh, I cannot wait.

2003-10-03T14:55:00.000-04:00

I have one class with Caroline. It is Women in Science. For the most part, it is a humanitites class, parading itself as a science class for those people who need a science credit but don't want to take something that would involve actual scientific thought. However, we are required to do "Mini-Labs," the first of which was today. Who do I end up with as a partner? Caroline. We spent the entire lab not speaking. It was adorable. Yes, I know Caroline reads this. Ask me if I care.

Whatever.

My cigarette holder for my Audrey Hepburn costume came today. For those of you who think I'm obsessed, you're probably right. It could be worse. It could be an addiction to cocaine, heroin, alcohol, etc. But it's not. It's Audrey Hepburn. A fairly safe addiction, I would think.

It's gotten fairly cold outside. I like winter. I like winter much more than summer. I have issues with shorts. Every time I buy a pair, it seems that the manufacturer decided to take an inch off the legs. Now, why would you want a pair of short shorts in a size 16? It's just not sensible. I already have the issue where the shorts ride up into my crotch, why would I want them to start there?

Also with summer comes sun. It hurts my eyes, it gives me a sunburn, it's hot and it's just absolutely unpleasant. Come fall, I'm quite ready for it to cool down and not have to expose everyone around me to my shockingly white legs.

2003-09-21T17:31:00.000-04:00

Nemesis

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-09-17T18:47:00.000-04:00

Just for the record, I did not post the comments on Caroline's blog nor do I have a vendetta against her. I am not even upset. I hope she enjoys her new room.

In other news, I am the newest Keeper of Formulas (aka Secretary) for gamma sigma epsilon, the chem honor society. I somehow managed to get elected because I wasn't paying attention and so when they called my name and said "Do you accept?" I figured "yes" was probably the right answer. This will teach you to stay alert at meetings.

I don't think Honor Societies should really do anything. Honestly, they've already done it. That's why they're in the honor society. (paraphrased from Honors President).

Back to studying for P Chem.

2003-09-12T08:21:00.000-04:00

People continue to be retarded. However, I believe this is an inherent quality of human beings. Retardation. I think that perhaps when you are born, you are the smartest you'll ever be and gradually become stupider and stupider and finallly things are so desperate that you have to go to college in one last attempt to make you smart again. I don't think it ever works. People with PhDs are the ones for whom there is no hope. They give you a piece of paper and say "I'm sorry. This is the smartest you'll ever be. Please leave. There's nothing more we can do."

I found out yesterday that if I weren't doing the American Chemical Society certified major, I could graduate at the end of next semester. However, I would like to get a bit more experience with stuff before I have to run off and start paying my own bills and be concerned with making money. I think summer will be much more fun when I'm here and don't have to go and work and not have anything to look forward to. Basically, I don't want to grow up. Growing up sucks.

I have no more clean clothes. Nothing. I'm wearing my last pair of underwear right now. These pants--dirty. This shirt--brand new, just cut the tags off. Bra--dirty. I guess I'll have to break down and do laundry tonight.

2003-09-07T10:21:00.000-04:00

People are retarded

2003-09-02T16:58:00.000-04:00

Could someone please explain to me why it is that Wal-Mart will sell you a gun but don't you dare ask to buy pepper spray? Why is it that mace is illegal and yet anyone can buy a gun at 16? It doesn't make any sense. The damn country is ruled by men, always has been and they make up stupid laws!

2003-08-16T18:12:00.000-04:00

I intended my first entry back from vacation to be a narration of the week's strange events. However, upon our return, I've found that the museum I used to work for is in grave danger of being sold off piece by piece. I'm very upset about this. I started volunteering at this museum when I was 10. I gave tours and helped in the preservation of the museum pieces. When I was 16, I started working for the museum, doing the same sorts of things. About this time, my father and mother and I began a group called the Friends of the -------- -------- Museum (I bleeped the name for reasons I'll state later). We held teas in the museum, went to schools, organized field trips and all sorts of other things. Last summer, the museum came under the management of a new group. They wouldn't rehire me. They forced the Friends to stop all fund raising and forced most of the former volunteers to stop wanting to volunteer. This week, they began accusing the Friends group of stealing dishes and pieces from the museum that are missing and have been missing from the museum since before the very first inventory was taken, when I first started volunteering in 1994. These pieces include a saddle, made with silver and several cars. I love that museum. I always have. I think its one of the best tourist attractions in the county. This new management group wants to sell the pieces (22 of them to be exact) to unknown people to raise money (did I mention the money raised will not go to the preservation of the other pieces?). In total, there are 110 pieces, but only room for 35 to be displayed (the pieces are rather large). The new director insists that his preservation methods are wonderful, despite the fact that he knows practically nothing about the history of the museum, and what he does know is due to our careful past research. The few times I had the opportunity to volunteer there before the new mamagement shut us out, their workers followed me around, and later I heard them giving the exact same tour I had just given. I know it was the same tour because I don't have notes for my tours, and so each one is different. I offered to give them what I knew about the pieces, but they refused my help and told us we were no longer needed at the museum. I'm devastated by the accusations. The only thing our group ever wanted to do was to help in the preservation of the collection. Now the collection is being sold and we're being accused of being thieves. I think the new management and the commissioners are thieves. They are robbing this community of a valuable asset.

2003-08-08T19:04:00.000-04:00

To my faithful (and even the not-so faithful) readers:
I will be unavailable for the next week or so. I shall return on Saturday, August 16th. If there's an emergency, you can call me cell phone. Oh, wait. None of you have my cell phone number and I doubt that there's such a thing as a blog emergency. If you suffer from Audrey-blog withdrawl, see your therapist. There are no phones where I am going (and obviously no internet) so deal. And for my friendly reader who has yet to identify him/herself, please do so. I have a feeling you are J. If not you're probably a scary ex-boyfriend with too much time on his hands. Enjoy your blogless week. C--update your blog. Coffdrop, I know you'll update your blog. Cary--hopefully I'll talk to you at some point during the week. Goodbye. I am embarking on a week-long vacation with my family. Someone will not come out alive.

~Audrey

2003-08-07T17:09:00.000-04:00

I'm in such an "I hate people" mood.

Maybe my blog is innane and stupid. Maybe it needs another hiatus.

2003-08-05T23:53:00.000-04:00

I've made an important decision tonight. I will no longer read The-One-Who-Shall-Remain-Unnamed's blog. I don't even know why I started reading it. Maybe to find out if she said anything about me. In any case, every time I read it, I feel sick and angry and sad and depressed and hurt and betrayed. She's not worth the emotional drain Iput myself through. I was driving today and I started thinking about her and just started screaming and crying. What is that? Why would I do that? I'm still so upset about everything. Ugh, I hate it. Why can't I just forget her and move on? So, in celebration of never reading her blog again, I'm going to compose a poem. A really horrible, wretched poem. I am a chemistry major.

I don't like girls.
Girls aren't fun.
They make me want to run.
Then puke.

I hate pink.
It really stinks.
Just like this poem.
This will show 'em.

WHat? You didn't like it? Why not?

2003-08-02T21:19:00.000-04:00

I miss Cary. It sucks that we spent so much time together and now I'll hardly get to see him. He's nice to snuggle with at night. I like to have lots of blankets at night and be nice and warm. He makes fun of me for having so many blankets on my bed. I only had three on my bed at school. At home, I have at least five, plus an extra at the bottom in case I get cold. You never know. It is only July and over 100 degrees outside. Of course, my parents insist on keeping the house rather frigid at all times of the year. In the winter it's to save money on the heating bill, but whatever we save in the winter is spent in the summer on AC. I don't get it. Anyway. Where was I going with this? Nowhere, as usual.

2003-07-31T11:14:00.000-04:00

Hello faithful readers. It's been an exciting few weeks. Since I last wrote, I've had many exciting adventures. Cary visited for two weeks. On the second day of his visit, we went to Denny's, where I got food poisoning from an omlette. I spent the entire night throwing up. When my tongue turned black (later discovered to be from Pepto Bismol), I called my favorite people, Campus Safety. They took my blood pressure, gave me oxygen (for trouble breathing) and told me they were calling an ambulance. They strapped me to a chair, carried me down the stairs, put me on a stretcher and on my way to the ER I went! Cary, of course, being the wonderful boyfriend he is, took excellent care of me. He made sure everything went smoothly at the hospital. They gave me good drugs, and I don't remember much after that. I slept the entire next day, and most of the day after that, recovered the next, and just relaxed the next. So really, I didn't work at all for a week. Not quite worth it, but a nice vacation.

Cary and I also visited the National Zoo and the Air and Space Museum in DC. It was fun. He left lots of stuff here. I sent him a rather full box today. Today is my last day on campus. I'm returning home this evening. Dad is coming to help me. It'll be interesting.

Now that I've updated you on Audrey's life, you may go back to doing whatever it is that you do. Caroline, shouldn't you be working on your paper? Coffdrop, shouldn't you be working? Audrey, shouldnt I be packing? Yes, I should. Good day.

2003-07-29T17:47:00.000-04:00

2003-07-08T17:59:00.000-04:00

So, I went home last weekend. It was not enjoyable. However, I must have sucked up enough to get myself a car AND a cell phone. The world just may end, ladies and gentleman. I was given strict instructions that I am NOT to drive on the Beltway. Because I've never done it before, most definitely never (rolling eyes).

I should go back in to work tonight, but I just don't feel like it. I have a headache and I'm sick of docking my stupid molecule. I may go to Wal-Mart or someplace exciting like that.

Cary may come back this weekend.

2003-06-29T12:11:00.000-04:00

Well, I've been gone for a while. Yes, yes, I know. Bad Audrey. But I was a little...well...preoccupied, shall we say. Cary was visiting. It was wonderful. Unfortunately, I'm going home next weekend, and it wouldn't do for Mommy and Daddy Hepburn to find out that there was a boy sleeping in my bed.

I got a bill for room damages from last year. Um. Excuse me. But wouldn't it be fair that THe-One-Who-Shall-Remain-Unnamed should have to ALSO pay for room damages? I think so. So I appealed it. Unfortunately, my Residence Life Coordinator is an idiot. A monkey could probably do her job better than she could. So fuck her.

At the beginning of the summer I had these bizarre delusions that by the end of the summer, I, Audrey Hepburn would have found the cure for AIDS. Uhh...no. Not going to happen. Currently, I'm setting up files for molecules for a program that doesn't work. Hopefully it will work soon. Otherwise, I've wasted the past three weeks. Oh, well.

J wants to talk. This is never a good thing.

2003-06-08T15:48:00.000-04:00

I'm lonely. I miss Cary.

2003-06-07T12:47:00.000-04:00

I had bizarre dreams last night. First, I dreamt I was a stripper. And not just any stripper, a hot one. And I had sex with some guy. Then I dreamt that for some reason Vesta and her boyfriend were at my house. My mother found out and flipped out on me. And I yelled back. I woke up with red finger marks on my forearm. I don't know. I woke up to the sound of next door Sarah's alarm. Unfortunately, she left yesterday, so the alarm went off for what seemed like forever.

I realized this morning that Sexy Beast still has my copy of Dirty Dancing. I don't know how I will survive without it.

I want my car.

2003-06-06T19:18:00.000-04:00

i don't understand the girls who have a need to be totally and completely attached to their boyfriends at all times. Sure, i like being with Cary. In fact, I love spending time with Cary. However, I also feel that we each need our own lives. We don't have to spend every waking moment together. Of course, i hate being dependant on anyone. It makes me feel worthless as a person. I can function on my own.

I bought something for Cary today. I'm quite proud. I did it in advance of our anniversary. Yes, I did. Usually I wait until about a week before and panic. He probably won't like it. But like I've said before, I can really only do one good gift per year, and unfortunately (but fortunately for her) Caroline got it this year at Christmas. The Hedwig book. I'm sorry. That's it for the year, folks. Try again next year. It's sort of like a lottery. And no, if you win, you don't get stoned to death. You may get something you actually like. Very small chance of it, but hey, there's always a winner.

2003-06-02T22:06:00.000-04:00

Coincidence? I think not. My Post Office Box at home is 303. The chem lab in high school was room 303. My dorm room is 303. Creepy.

Back at school and internet is up and running already. A miracle, I think. The room is spectacular. I love it. I wish I never had to leave. I've even got a windown seat AND an air conditioner. I put up some Xmas lights to add something, but my walls are mostly bare exept for my Dave and Phish posters. I didn't bring anything else, figuring I'm moving out at the end of July, so it wasn't really worth it. Other people have gone all out and completely done their rooms, but yeah, too much effort.

Tomorrow I think I'm going to start on my Audrey Hepburn collage. I figure this will give me something to work on in my down time.

Cary has gone off to a friend's house. He told me to call him there, but I doubt I will. I don't like calling people's houses that I don't know. It's odd, especially when you ask for someone who doesn't live there.

I'm going to get into bed and read. Night night.

2003-05-27T17:52:00.000-04:00

I hope that I never become as shallow as The-One-Who-Shall-Remain-Unnamed. If I ever refer to Cary as something other than "cary" (or his real name, obviously. or if I refer to him as Cary in real life...) please someone hit me over the head. Hard. I won't refer to him as "boy" or "chico" or anything so retarded. If the whole point of my blog becomes just a listing of what I did today instead of my thoughts and feelings, please slap me and say "Audrey. You're dumb and shallow."

I miss Cary, already. It sucks that he has to drive three hours to see me in the morning, spend a few hours with me, and then drive three hours back. He spends most of his time driving back and forth. Oh, well. Hopefully mom and dad will let up the nonsense of not letting either of us spend the night soon. On the bright side, he's said that he will come stay at school with me this summer for a while. Shh.. no telling parents.

Pediatrician wasn't so bad today. She only prodded at me a little bit. I discovered a hippie store on Virginia Ave. where they have a bead bar. I bought lots of beads and came home and made Cary a necklace. I can't wait to make one for me with this really pretty blue bead I found. Caroline will be jealous. Mwa ha ha!

Caroline, please post the Tumor Baby Story, again. Oh! Better yet, record it on cd for me. That would make me happy.

2003-05-26T13:44:00.000-04:00

Cary came up yesterday. It was a lovely day despite the fact that Mother and Father babysat us all day. The chaperones insisted that we accompany them to two cemeteries followed by the Paw Paw Tunnel. If you don't know what the Paw Paw Tunnel is, then you're better off. We had to visit the cemeteries to put fake flowers from Big Lots on the graves of people who died long before we moved to this town. Dr Wenrich, and his three wives, owned this house and died just in time for my parents to think that living in a one bedroom apartment with two children was just not a good idea. The Clappers, I don't know who they were.

Poor Cary didn't know what he was in for. But it was a much better day of being babysat than either of us had hoped for. However, we were still being babysat.

Tomorrow will include adventures to the pediatrician. Because obviously, I'm still a child, taken care of at the pediatrician. Ooo! Mommy, can I play with the legos? Dr.: "Now, Audrey, do you know what 'sex' is?" This is the annual part where I stare at her until she moves on.

2003-05-24T15:02:00.000-04:00

We're going to be a bit more cheerful today. Cary might come see me on Monday for a few hours. Of course, I have to ask Mother and Father 24 hours in advance so they can make sure they'll be here to babysit us. On the bright side, Cary sent me a dozen roses the other day. It was nice. They make me happy. I haven't really done anything today, so I should prbably go and do something now. Enjoy your day, all.